Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.
Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.
The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.