Great Fish Quotes and Jokes

If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles. - Doug Larson

I got a new fly rod and reel for my wife... best trade I ever made. - Thomas Horan
If fishing is interfering with your business, give up your business. - Alfred W. Miller

Fish and visitors smell in three days. - Benjamin Franklin

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot. - Steven Wright

There is no greater fan of fly fishing than the worm. - Patrick McManus
Fishing is a delusion entirely surrounded by liars in old clothes. - Don Marquis
If all politicians fished instead of spoke publicly, we would be at peace with the world. - Will Rogers

Next to Prayer, fishing is the most personal relationship of man. - Herbert Hoover
The fishing was good; it was the catching that was bad. - A.K. Best

The charm of fishing is that it is the pursuit of what is elusive but attainable, a perpetual series of occasions for hope. - John Buchan

My girl gave me the ultimatum 'Its me or your fishing!' Boy, I miss her.
If you are fishing on ice, you should never tell a joke on ice. Why? The ice will crack up!

How many fishermen does it take to change a light bulb? One, but you should have seen the bulb, it must have been THIS big.

Have you seen the new fishing website? No, it’s not 'on-line' yet.
Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend.

Men and fish are alike. They both get into trouble when they open their mouths.
What did Noah do while spending time on the ark? Fished, but he didn’t catch much. He only had two worms!

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fish!

Why are fish so smart? They are always in schools!

What did the sardine call the submarine? A can of people!

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the Internet and he won't bother you for weeks.

Why are fish so gullible? They fall for things hook, line and sinker!

Where are most fish found? Between the head and the tail!

What’s the best way to catch a fish? Have someone throw it at you.

What is the difference between a fish and a piano? You can't tuna fish.

Can I have a fly rod and reel for my son? Fishing Shop Owner: Sorry sir we don't do trades.

What should you do if you find a shark in your bed? Sleep somewhere else.

Give a man a fish, and you satisfy his fish craving for a day. Give him fish aversion therapy, and you eliminate the craving for life.

Give a man a fish and hope he's not a vegan.

Give a man a fish; you have fed him for a day. Teach a man to fish; and you have fed him for a lifetime. Teach a man to sell fish and he eats steak.

Give a fish a bicycle, and it falls down all day. Teach a fish to bicycle, and it joins a circus.

Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Unless he doesn't like sushi, then you also have to teach him to cook.

Give a man a fish; you have fed him for today. Teach a man to fish; and you can sell him fishing equipment.
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